Dear diary, I spent this weekend at an awesome Rotary seminar. For those who are saying; What?… Boring! Well anytime you can escape to Seattle for a weekend it can’t be all bad. In fact it was awesome, amazing and entertaining.

The people in rotary are Awesome for all that they do, not only for your community but what we do for World Humanitarian efforts. see for yourself. The international speakers were amazing and the 1000 participants were very entertaining.

Even though I think everyone should belong to a Rotary club, this is not a push for enrollment. It’s the strange things that happen to a 50 year old Fat Dad and the things I encounter, because that is what this blog is all about.

When 1000 Rotarians meet in one place for 4 days, you have some fun issues. Being its about 70/30 ratio guys to ladies, bathroom breaks are very interesting. 6 urinals, 700 guys and 6 morning cups of coffee make the 1st break time a hostile war zone. For the most part Rotary Presidents at this conference consists of 50+ year old men. They slowly walk into the seminar room with aches and pains finding a seat. When the 1st break starts, they spring up like an 18 year old boy running from the law. If you’re not careful you can get body checked from behind if you are anywhere near the men’s room door. I was sure the hotel had Roto Rooter on speed dial.

Now comes the funny part, worn out prostates getting ready for launch sequence. You would think when you walked in the door you would hear a sound comparable to Niagara Falls, nope. It sounded more like a slow leaking trickle of  6 broken faucets. They got there in point 12 seconds and stayed for 7 minutes. Sometimes you don’t hear anything for a minute but there they stand as if to guard the urinal even after they are done. Then I figured it out, they don’t know if they are done yet, and they are not about to pull back or tuck anything in until they hit dry dock.

I finally get my turn, this should be quick, as the peering of water soaked floating eyeballs are about to be relieved I say to the captive audience; Listen to this fellas, might want to step back, no guarantees how far back this will splash. Then it happened, NOTHING,,, WHAT?,,, I had to pee 3 seconds ago, OK just a moment, might be too much pressure, OK here it comes,,,, drip. Oh crap, its official, I am in a new club; 50 year old Fat Dad Rotarians with expired warranties on our prostrates.

I go to move back, but then I stop, nothing has happened for a minute, but I’m scared now too. I am now thinking to myself, I better stop poking fun at the guys sitting on the toilets behind me, who I believe may have fallen asleep awaiting orders to move the troops.

Don’t get me wrong about Rotary ages. We have high school groups called Interact clubs and college groups called Rotaract clubs and I truly believe Women are the fastest growing group in Rotary. When I joined in my late 30’s, I did feel as if I was the youngest in the organization. It has soon grown into all age groups, with young and older Rotarian men & women working together to make their communities a better place. It’s just my group is the Fat Old Guys that really should be buying stock in Male Incontinence Products, because most of us didn’t play basketball but we are slowly becoming good dribblers.