Dear Diary, whats it all mean? the question gets bigger & bigger the older you get. I ponder the whats & whys and I get more and more anxious, is it because the calendars a flipp’n  and I haven’t planned the great conclusion of life yet? Well I don’t think I need to create another factor in my life to be more anxious about. I do send consistent subliminal messages to my wife and children on what I would like them to be more like, yes this is my self serving way of getting the environment I want before I die, got a problem with that? I didn’t think I would change much the older I got, but that’s a damn lie, we all change a lot. The body & mind changes and so do the things you find attractive, entertaining or what turns you on or off. Maybe I just need to realize that this is what the world has offered me and make the best out of it. OK here goes another self help moment. I think I will just keep my blinders on and stay the course. I will try to stay on the smooth part of the path, too old to go off road.

I have been forever blessed with no reason to complain. I just want to know, should we really try to change things to fit our end times or is this all in Gods hands. I do know the answer to that but if God could help a son out… Everything is based on time and one thing for sure is, we don’t have much time left. So if things wont change for you, you may need to change for them. Life is a dance that is perfected over time, the music changes and so does your moves, wow, is this getting deep.

Here is some more; “Leave the past behind”, “tomorrows a new day”,”think don’t speak”,”smile and the day will smile back at you” and “never let them see ya sweat”, well that last one was from a antiperspirant commercial. my point is “just do it”, haha, no I mean “go big or go home”, I can’t seem to stop, really “just be you”!

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