Dear Diary, This week I took my wife, daughter and her bestie to Seattle for spring break. What a great time we all had, plenty to do and see. I did make some notes for next time though, just so I don’t stand out like a tourist. I must buy and wear a man scarf, yes men, women and children must all wear scarfs if you live in Seattle. I also must sport a man bag and glasses that don’t fit my face, I guess you don’t want your glasses to blend into your face. I will also remember to leave my white tennis shoes at home and wear footwear of colors and patterns.

How did Seattle get so hip and trendy, I really thought I had it going on until I came across the cascades. I also need to change my attitude, I must be in a hurry everywhere I go. I should not make eye contact or say hi to anyone, apparently that’s rude behavior now. At any given crosswalk I should slow down and make all cars wait for me, like the King of Seattle I will cross at my leisure, even if I am backing up already congested traffic. I must always carry a to-go Starbucks coffee cup. When driving, I need to remember not to wait for and opening, I need to just change lanes, clear or not. Everyone must know everyone in Seattle because they honk at each other all the time.

The highlight of my trip was spending time with family and friends and getting out of town for a few days. Things you must see if you make it to Seattle; Pikes Street Market, Doc Maynard’s Underground Tour, the Woodland Park Zoo, Space Needle and the Pacific Science Center. The Seattle culture is a free attraction and the people watching is worth every cent. Just remember when you see a scarf, buy one and nobody will ever know you’re a tourist.