Dear diary, it seems my wisdom has grown so vast there is no room left in or on my head for the hair follicles to hold on too.  But the good news is there is a growing and ample supply of back, leg, toe & buttocks hair that I could image could be transplanted to my head, or donated to science. Why Lord, why? I was handsome, now you give me deep widows’ peaks that reseed deeper every year like an eroding shoreline.

We can’t stop the inevitable, so let’s look at this in a positive way; growing hair is a waste of good hormones, especially at my age. Most of my Fat Dad brothers just shave it all off and look like retired military or add a goatee and look like a tough biker, both very good options. Some have chosen the path of the comb over or the man wig, a “toupet” (Toupee) in the Merriam Webster dictionary as a (“small tuft of hair”) toupee or not toupee that is the question. I think you’re on the right track, babes dig a good looking hair piece, really?

Just shave it all off, with a body like ours, who needs hair! You never need to buy or borrow a comb again. Let’s take pride in the shiny parts of our scalp and look at this as a reflection of wisdom. Thank God he makes this a gradual change and you didn’t just wake up one day bald.

Don’t be mad at the Fat Dads who get to keep their full head of hair because they will be fighting grey hair, gels, shampoos, women running their hands thru their follicles, those poor bastards. Just deal with the cards your dealt and just like your fat belly, it’s the new you baby!